BOOK FRONT AND BACK COVER
AN EXCERPT FROM THE INTRODUCTION
ABOUT THE GIFT THAT KEEPS ON GIVING
High school is a mess and sometimes it feels like it’s designed to make us into a mess too.
We’re juggling so much at a time — AP classes, dysfunctional sleep schedules, complicated social lives, college applications, multiple extracurriculars — that our health and wellbeing are often what ends up taking the backseat.
I’m a first-semester senior at a competitive public high school and though I could barely say the same for my first year and a half here, this past year, I spent my time meaningfully, got seven hours of sleep each night, earned all A’s, found supportive friends and went to sleep happy. That growth is what inspired this passion project — a guidebook on how I learned to thrive as a high-schooler. It isn’t as hard as it seems: turns out, positive change begets positive change, which begets even more positive change.
Using my own experiences as a framework for how you can improve your wellbeing, I wrote fourteen chapters, each about different steps of self-growth. I also conducted interviews with four different guests: local high-school senior Bhagya Narayanan, UC Berkeley sophomore Vivek Kamarshi, Child, Adolescent, and Adult psychiatrist Dr. Leena Khanzode, and self-compassion pioneer, researcher, and UNC-Chapel Hill Assistant Professor Dr. Karen Bluth.
I’m excited for every single one of you to realize that wellness and success aren’t mutually exclusive.
Select Reviews from Students, Parents & Educators
“Malavika, you know already that I greatly value your book and the contribution it makes to teen mental health. It is timely and very pertinent to high school students, parents and teachers.
I want to comment on the tools that you use and recommend. I think the major one is the value of skillful self-reflection and self-analysis. Asking why we think or do something and weighting the pros and cons. (This doesn’t mean self-criticism and self-deprecation.) You employ this so well throughout your writing and offer a stellar road map for others to follow. For you to practice and encourage others to start with good self-talk: “We are all OK.”
You say, we deserve health and happiness, because we are alive. This is so important, I think. This basic acceptance is part of a dialectic.. Once we accept our basic goodness and where we are at, then we can begin a path to change and self-improvement. We become our own therapist.
Some of the practices that you highlight and are invaluable to eudemonia that stand out for me are: self-compassion, gratitude, make self-improvement a priority, don’t compete with others but encourage yourself to improve, replace self-deprecation with forgiveness and kindness, schedule downtime, the value of having mentors, not limiting oneself to being one-dimensional.
Such a valuable book and so important that you wrote it. And you are advocating with your actions in the community for these values as well. It gives me strength and inspiration.”
— School-based Therapist, Monta Vista High School, CA
“I sincerely hope all students are able to read this and I wish I read this when I was one.
We all suffer from imposter syndrome or doubting our abilities or thinking someone else could do it better, and these are 10X more for high school students who are constantly under excessive pressure to excel not just in academics but umpteen other extracurricular activities. The end result - higher rates of anxiety, depression, substance abuse and delinquent behaviors.
The book speaks so eloquently about positive change, [the] value of building self-worth, self-advocacy and much more. And trust me when I say this, there is something to take away for all of us who worry about keeping up with or outshining peers.”difference.”
— Parent Reader, Amazon
“As a research professor working with teens and mental health, I highly recommend this book to all teens, and to all those who work with teens. Malavika Eby provides an insider's look at the types of stress that teens today face on a daily basis, and more importantly, healthy ways that they can meet these challenges.
Ms. Eby's reflections and insight into the roots of teens' challenges are striking for someone her age; her maturity and wisdom emerge throughout the book. This is a much-needed book that all teens should read, and for any adults who are interested in really understanding the struggles of teens in the 21st century.”
— Dr. Karen Bluth, Research professor at UNC-Chapel Hill
“As a parent of a highschooler in a top-rated public school in the Bay Area I always felt today's students are under tremendous pressure on every front, from work to relationships, way more than justifiable. While a healthy level of challenges, competition and pressure helps these teenagers prepare for a fast-moving world, taking all these to unhealthy levels has dire consequences. It's important to draw the lines and maintain a reasonable balance with the larger picture and long term life goals in mind.
In her book, The Gift That Keeps On Giving, Malavika is sharing her strategies for finding that balance. She candidly details the phases she went through, initial struggles and how she discovered a meaningful path forward by leaning on her inner voice more. This indeed is a deep topic with several dimensions, and Malavika has done a commendable job in approaching this from her own experiences!
She also paid attention to validating that approach and bringing in other perspectives by including her conversations with 4 other people. Malavika's narrative is pretty striking and uses examples relatable to not only teenagers, but also to anyone struggling to find a sane balance in a world of toxic competition.
Highly recommended!”
— Parent Reader, Amazon Reviews
“The book, The Gift That Keeps on Giving, got me engaged. Even though I'm an adult there were a lot of life learning lessons to imbibe from this young author. I would highly recommend this book to middle and high schoolers, so that it takes away their anxiety from school pressure. In this rat-race world it is very important to learn to have self-compassion, have healthy relationships, prioritize your mental wellbeing, and above all learn to love oneself.
Kudos to the author, Malavika Eby in guiding the young readers by using her own experience to make their journey through school stress-free!”
— Parent Reader, Amazon Reviews
FAQs
Why did you write TGTKG?
Growing up in a competitive school district, I felt that most of my peers and I were under immense pressure to excel in academics and numerous extracurricular activities, make and maintain friends, and simultaneously plus somewhat as a last priority, take care of ourselves too. TGTKG describes my story of how I learned to navigate that chaos and build social, emotional and mental resilience.
Read about my story here!
Does this book support existing findings from teen mental health literature?
Yes! The Gift That Keeps on Giving was written with the guidance of a Child and Adolescent psychiatrist as well as a Research Professor who works mainly with self-compassion, mindfulness and adolescent social-emotional health. The book was also reviewed by both mental health professionals following its completion.
How old should I/my child be to read this book?
TGTKG is most applicable and easily understood for teens and adults above the age of twelve (seventh graders and above). However, many factors of attending school in a competitive district — such as peer pressure, decreased sleep, social isolation — can begin to set in as early as in fifth grade.
Where can I learn more about this book?
You can visit TGTKG’s official page on Amazon to read a 15-page preview of the book. You can also contact me through the contact form on this website for more specific questions about the content of the book.
As a parent or educator, would this book be helpful for me to read?
Yes! You can read the reviews above to understand how TKTKG can be a worthwhile read for parents and educators as well as students.
