Motivational, Academic & Career Support
Video of the Month
“Jia Jiang adventures boldly into a territory so many of us fear: rejection. By seeking out rejection for 100 days -- from asking a stranger to borrow $100 to requesting a "burger refill" at a restaurant -- Jiang desensitized himself to the pain and shame that rejection often brings and, in the process, discovered that simply asking for what you want can open up possibilities where you expect to find dead ends.”
— From TED Official Website, 2015
What I Learned from 100 Days of Rejection (15:22)
Blogs & Articles
What Selena Gomez Can Teach Us About Mental Health
While it may seem daunting, you could find tackling a societal problem that has personally inflicted you to be deeply fulfilling as I did. If Selena’s motivations are anything like mine as she launches each of these incredible projects, her work is her way to create meaning within her own life, an anchor that likely keeps her tethered to something beautiful and worthwhile regardless of professional and personal setbacks.
During one of my watercolor lessons just a month ago, one of the women I paint with made a remark that stayed with me: “I love being an artist because there’s always something to look forward to.” I knew exactly what she meant. Our work, whether in art, research, technology, writing or communications, helps build ourselves a niche—a place where we belong, a purpose for us to fill, and a reason for us to feel important and value our time on Earth. Thus, to translate something so heavy and draining such as our mental health issues into something so fundamentally purpose-giving can make a true difference in the way we perceive our lives.
| Motivational, Academic & Career Support |
Resources
These are some of my favorite websites and programs to better develop myself as a lifelong learner.
CAROL DWECK — The Power of Believing That You Can Improve (10:25)
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The Character Lab's "Growth Mindset" Playbook
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The Character Lab's "Grit" Playbook
More Resources: https://www.edutopia.org/article/grit-resources
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The Character Lab's "Proactivity" Playbook
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The New York Times: "Everyone Fails. Here’s How to Pick Yourself Back Up."
“Learning to fail is a skill like any other — which means it takes practice. Learn how to thrive in spite of even your most epic mistakes. “
By Rachel Simmons
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"The Motivational Power of Self-Compassion" by Dr. Kristin Neff
Brief excerpt from the article:
“The number-one reason people give for why they aren’t more self-compassionate is the fear that they will be too easy on themselves. Without constant self-criticism to spur myself on, people worry, won’t I just skip work, eat three tubs of ice cream and watch Oprah reruns all day? In others words, isn’t self-compassion really the same thing as self-indulgence?
Before answering that question, it’s first worth considering whether self-criticism is really the great motivator it’s cracked up to be.”
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Oregon Health and Science University's PDF Guide to Develop SMART Goals
S.M.A.R.T. goals work by outlining exactly what is required, how it will be measured, and providing a time frame in which to do it. SMART is an acronym that stands for Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, and Timely.
Learn how to create your own SMART goals below.
For Those Interested in Psychology:
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The Noba Project's Free Psychology Textbooks & Educational Resources
“Noba is a free online platform that provides high-quality, flexibly structured textbooks and educational materials. It was co-founded by Drs. Ed and Carol Diener.
Noba modules have been written by some of the most respected psychologists in the business including Elizabeth Loftus, Ed Diener, Susan Fiske, David Buss, and are used by numerous distinguished colleges such as NYU, UT Austin, Barnard College and the University of Michigan.”
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The University of Pennsylvania's Positive Psychology Center
“The mission of the Positive Psychology Center is to promote research, training, education, and the dissemination of Positive Psychology.
Activities at the Center include:
Empirical research in Positive Psychology, resilience, grit, Positive Neuroscience, Positive Health, Prospective Psychology, and science of imagination.
Master of Applied Positive Psychology program (MAPP)
Deliver resilience programs and Positive Psychology programs using the train-the-trainer model.
Host conferences and meetings where scholars share and discuss the latest empirical findings in Positive Psychology.”
Relevant Vocabulary
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“Individuals who believe their talents can be developed (through hard work, good strategies, and input from others) have a growth mindset. They tend to achieve more than those with a more fixed mindset (those who believe their talents are innate gifts). This is because they worry less about looking smart and they put more energy into learning.
[In a fixed mindset, people believe their basic qualities, like their intelligence or talent, are simply fixed traits. They spend their time documenting their intelligence or talent instead of developing them. They also believe that talent alone creates success—without effort.]”
— From Dr. Carol Dweck, psychologist & researcher behind the concept of the growth mindset (learn more)
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“Grit is passion and perseverance for long-term goals.
One way to think about grit is to consider what grit isn’t. Grit isn’t talent. Grit isn’t luck. Grit isn’t how intensely, for the moment, you want something.
Instead, grit is about having what some researchers call an”ultimate concern”–a goal you care about so much that it organizes and gives meaning to almost everything you do. And grit is holding steadfast to that goal. Even when you fall down. Even when you screw up. Even when progress toward that goal is halting or slow.”
— From Dr. Angela Duckworth’s website
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“Intrinsic motivation involves performing a task because it’s personally rewarding to you. Extrinsic motivation involves completing a task or exhibiting a behavior because of outside causes such as avoiding punishment or receiving a reward.
The main difference between intrinsic and extrinsic motivation is that intrinsic motivation comes from within, and extrinsic motivation comes from outside.”
— From the University of Rochester (learn more)
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“A state of optimal experience arising from intense involvement in an activity that is enjoyable, such as playing a sport, performing a musical passage, or writing a creative piece.
Flow arises when one’s skills are fully utilized yet equal to the demands of the task, intrinsic motivation is at a peak, one loses self-consciousness and temporal awareness, and one has a sense of total control, effortlessness, and complete concentration on the immediate situation (the here and now).”
— From the American Psychological Association (learn more)
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We’re more likely to be motivated about something and become self-determined when we feel that 1) we’re connecting to other people within the activity, 2) possess skills necessary to fulfill the tasks at hand, and most importantly, 3) we have some level of control over the outcome of the activity.
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“Intellectual humility is simply “the recognition that the things you believe in might in fact be wrong,” as Mark Leary, a social and personality psychologist at Duke University, tells [science reporter Brian Resnick].
[…] It’s not about being a pushover; it’s not about lacking confidence, or self-esteem. The intellectually humble don’t cave every time their thoughts are challenged.
Instead, it’s a method of thinking. It’s about entertaining the possibility that you may be wrong and being open to learning from the experience of others.”
— From Dr. Mark Leary on a 2019 Vox interview (learn more)
— THREE TAKEAWAYS —
Final Recap
1. Coping with failure
We are guaranteed to fail at things throughout our lives because none of us—despite or intelligence, or work ethic, or wealth, or good looks—can succeed 100% of the time.
Truth is, failure never feels great and it makes sense for us to experience feelings of disappointment and inadequacy when it happens.
But even with our current workplace culture, where we’re expected to work nonstop and the keywords of success are “self-made, “young,” and “wealthy,” we are more than our accomplishments, we do not have to win and lose by society’s timeline, and exceptional financial success or social status aren’t always the perfect puzzle piece to complete our lives.
Take note of the specific criticisms that ring in your head each time you face a failure, and try rewriting them to be understanding of your own personal journey and the universal truth that we all deal with failure sometimes. You got this!
2. Growth mindset & taking initiative
Growing up, I know there were certain labels I put on myself. I was good at certain things, and incompetent at others. I was sure of it.
The crazy thing I learned over the past few years is that we are far more in control of our own abilities than we think possible.
First, recognize that the brain behaves like a muscle - it can change and strengthen as we use it. Now, reflect on who you are at this point and maybe create a few SMART goals planning for the version of yourself you want to become in another three months.
There is always more to learn and space to grow, personally and professionally, socially and emotionally, so starting now is the biggest favor we can do for ourselves!
3. Grit & purpose
Like I write in The Gift that Keeps on Giving, “It’s easy to lay low and disguise our quirks and flaws because we think it keeps us safe. Going beyond what we’re told, exploring ourselves and our passions, finding our footing, those are the things that make us feel like we’re beyond just a body taking up space.
[…] Ask yourself how your interests align with what the world needs, and figure out your niche, the one that only you have.”
Sounds easier than it really is, I know. But using self-exploration methods like journaling, trying different hobbies, taking self-assessments, and simply paying attention to our experiences to learn when we’re most motivated, we can get a reasonable idea of what our true interests are.
From there, dedicate yourself to learning as much as you can, plan and execute short-term or even long-term passion projects, take on some competitions if that’s something you’re into and never stop asking questions!